This Is It.

Its true, your blood runs thru my veins.
We have the same face & sense of humor,
But its you who hurts me so & gives me the
feeling of going emotionally insane.
Actions speak louder than words... a saying I
wish you would truly apply & hear.
Because the more this continues,
The easier it will get for me to no longer be
near.
I've stuck by your side,
& given you love and support,
But when it comes to me,
I feel like you can barely even make it to see
me do what I love on the bball court.
Time & time again I've heard you make
promises to right the past and start fresh
with a new beginning,
But all its done is left me feeling disappointed
with my head continuously spinning.
I wish sometimes I could forget it all & say
everythings okay,
When really now a days the only thing I feel we
have in common is our last name...Ray.
I never thought I'd have to try so hard for you
to give me the time of day, let alone your
attention,
Now every time we talk I have to remind you of
all this and put you in check like a 7th grader
in detention.
Regardless of it all,
I love you & I always will.
But this is now out of my hands and up to you
to fix,
Because I can no longer be the one putting all
the effort into what should be a mutual mix.

Mrs. Smile So Bright.

As I write I reminisce.
As I reminisce, I think back.
So many good times,
I can hardly keep track.
First day of 10th grade.
With all new teachers & classrooms,
At the end of the day all I thought about was
the outstanding impression on me you so
powerfully made.
Dare to be different.
Rockin' the orange in your hair,
You told us what the class truly meant,
And to let our work show how much we care.
With a new day,
Came a new Mrs. Jackson outfit.
Everyday that passed you pushed us to never
quit;
Thru your words of wisdom & clever wit.
Your hunger, desire, and passion for history has
inspired me to want to be the best.
I felt like the world was mine when I would get
A's on your tests.
You've helped me succeed
& you've helped me grow.
For me now my dreams can be realities,
Thanks to you & the worldly information I now
know.
I feel so honored to have met & been taught by
a woman so humble & smart,
I, Chanel Nicole Ray, am forever thankful as you
should know you will always have a place in my
heart.

-This poem is for Mrs. Ellen Jackson. One of the best teachers and individuals I have ever known. She has forever changed my life, so this I wrote specifically for her! :]

Momma Dearest.

You are my strength.
You are my base.
You are my number one fan
and the reason I will never come in last place.
You make me who I am.
You are my hero.
You’re the cool mom who says “Shit Happens!”
when I get an F on an exam.
You are the strongest person I know.
You always make me smile.
You were the first to take me to the snow and
even taught me how to soe.
You are the one who makes things just fine.
You who is so beautiful inside and out.
You even let me have my first few sips of red
wine.
You are the one who always says, “Be nice to
your mother.”
You are the one who never ceases to amaze me.
You are the one who is more effective than
medicine in helping me recover.
You are the one who taught me to always be me.
You are the most amazing mom in the whole
world…that’s a guarantee.
This is you.
This is who you have been since day one.
This is nothing brand new.
This poem is just for you.
Written by your daughter Chanel Nicole Ray,
because I Love You. :]

Wrote this for Mother's Day yesterday.This poem is for the one and only Susan Ray. She has given me life, laughter, love, confidence, a forever smile, & millions more. She truly is the best mother there is and ever will be. I love her more than anything. This is for you momma. Happy Mother's Day, even though I celebrate you being my mother 24/7 365 as I should be! :]

Background.

Your the secret behind pieces of my writing
'cause your life and its impact on mine gives me
material.
Ideas on a continuous flow like the milk pouring
over my morning bowl of Frosted Flakes Cereal.
Can't stop these words from flying out like
Mean Girls word vomit,
Punch lines so out of this world sometimes I feel
like I'm sitting on Comet.
This writing I do is like a continuous hunger, I
never want to be full,
Because each and every syllable I write has its
own role in advancing my life's creative goals.
I write when things aren't fare,
I write when I feel a sense of scare,
I'd write during a game of Truth or Dare.
My writing is raw emotion, something rare.
I write because its the thoughts and feelings
behind my words that everyday, like a
Superman suit, underneath it all I wear.

Thank You.

Alike Jay-Z, I'd like to say thank you.
Thank you to my ride or dies,
For always having my back and being truthful
with never any lies.
Thank you to my family,
For being my back bone and giving me the guiding
light to see.
Thank you to all the jobs to ever turn me down,
'Cause once I have a successful career I'll come
back around to wave Hii! & Bye like a kid on the
merry go round.
Thank you to all the fake friends I've ever had
who have come and gone,
For proving trust isn't something to hand to
just anyone and that people come and go
without a care like the cars on the German
Autobon.
Thank you to all my teachers,
Whether good or bad,
For giving me the education I have today and
being that one to reveal life's daily hidden
messages like a Sunday morning church
preacher.
Thank you to all the strangers I've ever met,
For reminding me to live life to the fullest with
no regrets.
Thank you to all my past basketball coaches.
Whether or not you stood behind me with
complete support,
But for teaching me lessons that will forever
stay with me on and off the court.
Thank you to the man upstairs,
For giving me life, air, and a chance.
My respect for you is oh so immense,
I promise thru whatever I can to stand strong
and tall,
Like the historic Eiffel Tower in France.
Thank you to all,
Whether you helped me grow or fall.
Thank you to those who love me for me
& those who choose to hate,
For being my reminder this life is too short to
waste not being great.
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you,
For uncovering my life's purpose,
& showing me what in this world I'm meant to
change, better, and do.

Overwhelmed.

Fragmented.
Headaches.
Loss of appetite.
Stressed be thy verb.
With the increased need to get away
& put a sign on my door that says, "Do Not
Disturb."
Second guessing if right is right,
While afraid of being wrong.
Thoughts racing thru my mind,
Like the orphan always pondering,"Where do I
belong?"
One minute its yes,
The next its no.
While I constantly think I don't know,
I really start to wonder,
Should I stay or should I go?
Stressed.
A state of mind or an emotion?
With so much mental baggage,
I wish it to all go away like a witch's magical
potion.
Stressed.
Brought upon others,situations, & self.
Take a breather...let it go
& watch how much it betters your spiritual
wealth.
Stress personally is only temporary.
'Cause this is a purse full of nonsense I'm not
willing to carry.
Stress.
It comes across us all.
As we think about the reasons and why,
Remember its okay to fall,
As we then will remember we all deserve to fly
high.

So Far Gone.

It was here then there.
It went from that to this.
One big mistake.
Its crazy how one can go from so real to so
fake.
So far gone.
In too deep.
There's no turning back.
Memories are all that's left to keep.
So far gone.
Lost with no map.
Looking to seal the deal,
Like a bottle to its cap.
So far gone.
Unsure of where to go,
Hoping for an epiphany,
So I'll know when I know.
So far gone.
In denial of reality like I'm on vacation,
Need to find the solution,
Like Ben Franklin during the Industrial Revolution.
So far gone,
But on my way back,
Missing a key factor,
Like Jill without Jack.
So far gone.
But found the missing key,
Ready to unlock the next door of life,
& continue being me.